Woot, I'm Rich!

       Good news everyone! I sometimes go through my junk mail to see if anything important and found an email called "Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) so me and my curiosity had to open and check it out. To my surprise apparently I apparently invested in the president of Nigeria and he is settling all his debt and I am going to get 8.5 million dollars! All I have to do is give this contact all my personal information and I get a bank card to transfer it to my personal account! I haven't been this lucky since I won the British and Canadian lottery all in the same day! Sure they wanted me to put down a few thousand to cover the wire transfer but big money like that is totally worth it! So now I have to give my infoz and gross sum of money to the FBI contact with an email ending in .cn . If you google .cn it originates from China. What a great cover for an agent? No one will find that suspicious especially when he apparently is in Africa!

Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $8.500,000.00 due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Good luck Jonathan to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes. Now how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $3,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2016. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.

Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option and would be mailed to you via FedEx. Because we have signed a contract with FedEx Express which should expire by the end of this month, you will only need to pay $200 instead of $455 saving you $255 So if you pay before the end of this month you save $255 Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $200.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 48hours after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Nigeria, The United Nation and also the FBI and including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $200.

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $455 but because FedEx have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $455 to $200 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

To effect the release of your fund valued at $8.500,000.00usd you are advised to contact our correspondent in Africa the delivery officer Kingsley Jo with the information below,

      Lol but seriously these emails crack me up. Though my mom was in banking for several years. It honestly is sad that so many people will fall for this. If the Nigerian president tries to give you blood money don't take it!!!!

Squirrel Flu

  See that catch title? "Squirrel flu", Like I am gonna talk about diseases with annoying rodents who eat everything but I'M NOT (dun dun dunnn) And yes, yes I didn't post anything yesterday, which I'll promptly be explaining why.

     So yesterday I was blahhhh. Ever wake up with that hint of nausea that isn't serious enough to care but still annoying enough to ruin your day? But the good news is I got a little side job. My Dads wife got another virus on her laptop and instead of my dad taking it to the computer shop and getting charged like crazy I get to fix it for a low price cause I don't know whats reasonable to charge. woot! It is something I do enjoying doing tho and this is such a nasty virus. Imagine your hard drive as a room and there's these shelves called file systems in the room that you put your junk(data) on. Imagine the shelf like vanished. That's what pretty much happened, so there's this huge mess of data that looks like that TV show Hoarders : Buried Alive....except with computers! So I figure out whats wrong and Google the bajesus out it till I find something that works. Resourcefulness for the win! Funny enough it was on a magazine article but Its gonna work dang it  Its currently at 450 million blocks out of 832 million and Its been running for like 12 hours, Any day now! But seriously people don't click on those ads. They are very very very badddddd

YOU HAVE 2 VIRUSES, CLICK HERE TO SCAN AND FIX NOW!!!

If you clicked on that then you fail and you will suffer for quite a long time :O. 10 Hours to be precise muwahahahahahah. But if you listen to your anti virus over random pop up ads or things that say get free blah blah, you have won 9,000 + IPad Minis you should be fine. Otherwise your life miserable for a week and it will scare the living bajesus out of you. Its happened to me too many time which is probably why I know so much on how to repair them .lul

   And if ya'll aren't sick of me talking about my fiance yet, I have a funny story for you guys. So while I was beating the hard drive with a monkey wrench last night to get it work (its actually very therapeutic to the electrons inside[its actually not, don't do it]). She was watching AMC with the freak show people getting married and yada yada yada. And to know where she is coming from her dad was a well off business man and she has been to the luxurious malls of Dubai and eaten at the finest restaurants till she moved in with me in the boonies of southern Georgia(love is weird like that). And then the show came on... Championship taxidermy(filleting and stuffing Bambi & friends so they can be cute and cuddly forever)! It was a guy using squirrels to reenact the whole Vietnam vets vs hippy and some other guys with birds fighting and loving and ya. You had to seen her face. It went into this state of shock as her eyes got all big and round  and she started blank at the TV as it showed the guy stopping on the side of the road to pick up his squirrels. Being from a different country me and everyone else always ask her whats it like in such and such or do they do this in such and such? Apparently they don't do much taxidermy in the middle east so she got to know a well known redneck tradition. So I had to pull her(literally) out of the room and into bed as her mind tried to wrap its head around what she witnessed

Get it? Flu as in computer virus's and squirrel and in taxidermy? Yes I know it was lame hush. -,-

TTYL